she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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