he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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