what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
