Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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