I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
