What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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