Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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