Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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