Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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