why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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