i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
