Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
