so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
