do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
