I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
