i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
