were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
