So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
