I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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