I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
