The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
