Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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