he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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