this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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