just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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