belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
