worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
