A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
