before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
