he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
