in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
