This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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