I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
