I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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