You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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