Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
