but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
