Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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