??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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