she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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