Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
