I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
