So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
