you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
