stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize