Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
