God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
