I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
