wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
