I'm so fucking centered right now
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
