So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
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