my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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