Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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