i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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