i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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