I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
