I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The struggles of a small town man whore
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