"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
