He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
