Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
