At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
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