My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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